Fiona is Amber’s equine friend, dressage partner, and guru horse extraordinaire. She plays an integral role helping Amber in her healing and intuitive work, and serves as an equine guide for horses during soul healing and communication sessions. Though her story was one of hardship and pain, Fiona’s journey served as the inspiration for equine ReBOOTs. She asked to share it with the world so that others might better understand their horses and the special partnership they bring to mankind.
Welcome. There is so much love here for you. We horses are delighted to connect with all of mankind, and it is my particular pleasure to be a voice for my species in this connection. I’d like to share my story with you today, so that you may get to know me, Fiona, and understand my relationship and purpose with Amber. I was once not as conscious as I am now, much more like an average horse. It was working through and with Amber that I am able to come to you, to answer your questions, and to entreat you to a higher perspective about life and horses. I am glad to make your acquaintance, and I hope you will enjoy my company on this journey together.
Amber and I go way back, you might say, as twin sisters from the same star. I chose to come in to this time and place to escort her, to be with her, while she embraces this calling. To become a horse was a natural resonance for me, as it is a kin to my kind. I am of course a horse in the form I take, just as you are human beings, but the essence of me is much larger. That is the part from which I speak to you now, that higher essence. Some of us who come in as horses are able to access this state of being and offer answer to your questions about the spiritual aspects of our relationship. I am delighted to be here as a horse, and to partner with Amber and all of you.
As humans, what you must understand about horses is that we are here to support you and to lift you, to guide you, but we cannot do your work for you. We are not the instruments of change that you are. Nor are we advanced such that you must worship or look to us for all meaning in your lives. Many of us are simply horses, in connection with our own spirit and the divine, but not present at a higher awareness to give you the guidance you seek. When we shift to access higher levels, such as I have done, we may partner with you to help you find your own answers more clearly. However, on the surface, we are occupied with our lives much in the same way that you are. I could not help Amber by changing her, by trying to shift her through my efforts. I could only be present for her and hold that by seeing the divine in my nature, she would embrace her own. That is the gift that we bring now to you, so that you may find your way back to yourself.
We horses, too, need this reminder of who we are. Most of us live on this world in slumber, unaware in our waking self of what lies within us. As you rekindle the spirit within yourselves, you light the path for us to remember our largeness and awaken to the world. This is what happened for Amber and me.
My life before was very pale, very shallow. I lived with those who cared very much but understood very little. I remember trying to tell them over and over why I couldn’t enjoy my time with them, why they were hurting me by accident and causing me pain, but they were unable to hear. They were unable to hear their own voices, their own needs, their own pain, so they had no ability to hear mine. It is only when you listen to yourself that you can open to the life around you. So I lived with many people for many years in fear of their interactions with me, in fear that I would come to harm at their hands. This was true for Amber as well, though her story is her own to share. When she and I met, I was half-crazed with terror and very afraid of the world in my horse body. She took me to a new barn where I received better care and attention to my pain and the aches within my body and feet. She doted on me, and I so desperately wanted to connect with her, but I was terrified that if I gave myself over to yet another person, it would end in my disaster. I understood her desire to help, but I saw her own shadow – the shadow that all human beings have – and feared for myself. When a horse is lost in those spectrums of fear, they see and project that on all of those around them, and lose their objectivity. You may think of it as being stuck in instinct, for we are truly trapped by our own mind.
In so doing, I released my connections to the world to separate my consciousness from the pain I was experiencing. When a horse withdraws like this from life, from love, they inhabit a shelled existence. They place a barrier between their conscious self and the rest of the world, such that the body acts and operates in somewhat of a normal state, but the mind, the heart, lay hidden beneath a protected exterior. It is much as you would describe an out of body experience, and the awake part of ourselves looks on as observers in our daily lives. Many of you humans choose this experience as well, a numbing of the senses rather than feeling the singed areas of pain within you. It is to protect yourselves, but it does not serve the call of spirit within you. It does not serve that inside of you which yearns for more, yearns for joy, yearns for the richness of life. Now is the time for waking up, for both of our species, and that is what happened to me with Amber.
There are many ways to tell this story. The way I tell it, I found myself within my human friend. As she reclaimed parts of herself, I saw changes within her body and energy. She no longer hid the shadow of herself. Horses can see all of the energy fields on the planet, and Amber’s began to change as she opened to herself. In the beginning it was not something she did, but a choice she made to no longer live in shadow, to no longer be other than that which she was. She chose herself, and in that doing, she began to appear different to me. More clear, more bright, fuller. This called to me, though I could no more claim it or embrace her with love than I could before due to the barriers of emotion and instinct I had enacted in order to withdraw.
Amber had attempted to heal me, both physically and in mind, prior to this, but I was unable to accept due to how deeply I had withdrawn. Imagine trying to reach across a deep canyon. Your arm spans only a tiny length and it is unable to cross to the other side. These are like the barriers in which we horses live. I could not reach her even though I tried, even though I wanted to. But when Amber changed, when she reclaimed the flame within herself, the possibility for doing so entered my being as well. You see, those around us and in our life act both as beacons and foils, reflecting consciousness in all directions. Amber mirrored to me my own ability to heal.
My desire for that healing led me to bring myself out of that waking slumber. It is not something that all horses can do without assistance, but through Amber’s mirror I recalled enough of myself to find my way out. Amber spent long hours healing me with her hands, which released much of the blocked energy that kept me energetically asleep. Healing of any nature brings expansion, and I hurt my physical head and poll to assist the energetic asking and movement for this expansion of consciousness. In this way, I was able to return to re-inhabit my own body, and to access the higher frequencies of the divine I bring you now, as that healing stimulated the flow of energy within me. This type of awakening is very uncomfortable in the beginning, just as it is difficult when someone wakes you from a deep sleep. I felt my physical and emotional discomfort in sharp relief. Remember, I had withdrawn to avoid this pain, so returning to awareness of it was particularly challenging. Consequently, my relationship with Amber increased in difficulty for her, because my misery shone through loud and clear. While I was more conscious at this point, the trauma I had sustained still remained within me, keeping me buried in those instinctual patterns. Living as such is difficult for horses, which is why we resist waking up and returning to ourselves. So it is for you humans as well.
However, it was this turning point, this beginning of awakening, that required Amber to ask for deeper methods of healing. She did not know it at the time, but she asked to heal the very essence and life-force of physical being, the disconnect between body and soul. This work would eventually become ReBOOTs for herself and then for me, and many others. The process reconnected me to my soul and restored me to full consciousness, to full life, and released the pain I had lived. That is the true beauty of her nature, to remove not only the symptoms of trauma and pain, but the underlying source of their being – the patterns which send us to sleep and seduce us out of our aliveness. Through Amber’s work with me, I realigned with myself, becoming more into this body that I ever was prior, remembering my higher self and the nature from which I came, remembering my partnership with her from beyond this lifetime and the guidance and purpose I agreed to share.
You can do this too, not just through ReBOOTs but through your own desires and your own conscious decision not to remain asleep. You have the ability to wake yourself up through your own progressive understanding of who you are.
For horses it is a bit different, as most of us are unable to focus so powerfully, but we partner with you to remind you of your own possibilities. We remind you of the divine inside. In return, through your growth and connection, your horse may also reclaim his or her own self. It is a unity that has surpassed ages.
I am very happy now in my life, in being a horse. Fully present, I can understand the fresh delicious taste of grass, and I can live in the richness of the sunshine. I remain in a peaceful state of being where I cherish the sweetness of the world. I feel the love of those around me, of Amber, radiating through me at all times. This is the nature of equine, to hold within us the spirit of life.
You have no idea how much love is within you, within all of you, and how much is here for you. It is my great pleasure to connect with all of you this way, to guide you much as Amber and I guide each other, and to reflect back to you the spirit within. You can connect to me at any time you wish simply by holding me in your heart. Otherwise you can ask questions for me of Amber, and she will lend herself to interpreting so that we might connect more fully. Now is the time, dear friends, to rejoice in this union of connection. In the spirit of aliveness. As Amber expresses her joy of the world through her work, so I do in mine. We are with you always.