Ask a Horse: Being Sold

AMBER: Can you share from a horse’s perspective how you feel about being sold? Obviously in our human culture we see horses as property under the eyes of the law. While most people have relationships with their horses and certainly see them as more than that, buying and selling our equine friends happens to be one of those uncomfortable truths to the equestrian world right now. How do horses see and experience this concept?

FIONA: Yes, I am happy to share that with you. It’s a complicated subject from our end, too. We have mixed feelings about the idea just as you do. Some horses really hate it. They believe they are powerless in their lives and can be pawned off at any moment for money or exchanged for a better horse. These horses are usually damaged in their hearts and minds. A more mature and healthy horse looks at this like you might see a relationship with a romantic partner. Sometimes it lasts a very long time, sometimes it only lasts a short while. If you are happy in the match, the time is not wasted. There is no lost love when moving on to a new relationship in this way, and there are no regrets for having had the old relationship if it was comfortable and fun to be together. You humans worry about this far more than we do. Horses would never make a lifetime commitment to another because we know we change. What we want today will not always be what we want tomorrow. You all would do well to follow the same guidance in your horse dealings and in your relationships. There is no harm from parting when it is not the best match between two friends anymore. You outgrow us. We outgrow you. Why stay together out of commitment to an ideal that doesn’t exist anymore?

Many horses have trepidation about who might buy them, but much of this comes from the person in the relationship and not the horse. It is not in the nature of the horse to worry actively about such things as you might. We are more in the realm of “today is a good day and I am happy,” so it’s not our character to become anxious for what tomorrow might bring. However, if you as a person are anxious about the topic and continually project your fears about the type of horrible person who might buy him or her on to your loving horse, he or she may begin to share your anxiety. However, that again tends to be more common among horses who are already emotionally distressed. Mostly we try to reassure you that we are going to be fine.

We horses remember, you see, that we create our own matches. We have many ways of doing this outside of human consciousness. Sometimes we appear in dreams or visions, sometimes we simply send up an energetic flag or magnetism to the next person we desire to be with, and sometimes we are more active in our assertion of preference. Some of this happens on an unconscious level, to be sure, but many times we take an active role in this selection.

AMBER: I know I have had horses act up with certain buyers, and act perfectly with others. Is that what you’re talking about?

FIONA: Yes, to a large extent. But remember, the level of trauma or damage in the horse will play a tremendous role in this process. Some are able to more actively choose from a conscious state, and some will choose from an unconscious state. But we do choose, and that is the point. Even if you think that you are making the choice, or you don’t understand or believe you are witnessing such a choice, it is happening on a soul level all around you. It is one of our gifts of sovereignty as beings in this world. A healthy, happy horse remembers this and knows her own power of choice. A fearful, anxious horse does not. We largely find the human concept of buying and selling amusing, because you seem to think that you are truly in control. I assure you, we are very much participatory in the process and we choose our partners selectively.

That said, what we look for is often an energetic match rather than a specific person – though that does happen too – so anyone who meets this energetic matching point may become the “right” partner. There are many animals, too, who would be a match for you in this same way, though as mentioned occasionally we come in as guides or friends for a specific person, as I am for you.

AMBER: Yes, I have written about that before. I know many people have had the experience of feeling like their horse (or dog, cat, etc) chose them, so this will resonate well. However, from a human perspective, people often find it difficult to believe this choosing occurs when the match does not seem beneficial to the horse. This can mean anything from training tactics that are against the horse’s nature to neglect and abuse and all sorts of awful things. Most people do not believe it is the horse’s choice or preference to be in such a state. Can you speak to that?

FIONA: Yes, it is a very important question. Perhaps the most important question you have ever asked, because you ask it among your own race as well. There are no accidents in the universe. No mistakes. No oops or misses. All is planned through intention, preference, and soul purpose. The only “mistake” is to believe that a life of hardship or what you perceive as suffering lacks purpose. You cannot fathom why an animal would choose to come into a body and a partnership where someone would abuse them. The same could be said of other human beings as well. However, your lack of understanding in this matter is often a cause more of your own suffering than of that soul’s. We have all sorts of reasons for coming to planet earth. We have all sorts of evolutions, all sorts of journeys, all sorts of lessons along the way. Some of the most powerful guides come in to live expressions of deep suffering to help others find their own light. Some of the most courageous and beautiful gifts are not that of comfort, but of growth. Just because you may not understand it does not mean that a violation is taking place, or that something dreadful has occurred. It is a disrespect of the power of that being to see him or her in such a way, instead of looking for the power and light beneath the skin.

Our lives are short as animals, and often for this reason, for it is fairly easy for us to pop in and out and serve others and ourselves in many ways with relative ease. The soul is not harmed through this mechanism. Only the ego suffers.

AMBER: I have often shared that same sentiment with people before, and I do agree. However, I also talk to horses and people who are in deep suffering. Many animals such as you speak of shut down rather than live through the pain and anguish of that experience. They absolutely prefer to feel better and are thankful to be out of such scenarios, so it sounds like there’s a disconnect here. For example, because animals and people choose such roles, it sounds like you are suggesting then that we just “let” them suffer, and that’s where most people have a problem with the idea.

FIONA: Animals aren’t suffering as much as you think they are, in the sense that the protective mechanism of shutting down helps ease pain and trauma. The body of the animal is indeed in pain, but the life essence of that creature is far removed from that scenario. This is for the good of the being, and it happens in the wild, too, when animals are injured are killed. Yes, there are a tremendous number of horses in this state in the world right now, such that horses are coming in already shut down who never wake up. This is unique to this time period, but it’s not a sign of devastation as much as mass awakening, for that is the larger current of energy on the planet. Let them suffer? No, but the first step to not letting them suffer is to not suffer with or for them. Reminding all beings of their power and light is the best gift we can give to them. That is what these animals do for you as a species. You believe that the people performing acts of atrocity and abuse are evil, but I assure you they are an energetic match for the animal they are with. They are in an equal state of disconnect, of shut down, and they have asked for guidance to reawaken from this state. The guidance may not happen from a conscious level in those energies, for it would serve neither being to do so. Such a thing takes place between souls, and it is as beautiful as you condemn it to be awful. What courage and a gift such animals bring, not just to each other but to mankind as a whole. These people and these horses do more to inspire light and harmony than those stuck in subpar contentment. However, this exchange is energetic and you do not witness it if you look through your human eyes, and thus all you see is suffering.

It is a tremendous act to be here, to be alive. That we can inspire each other to more alignment and more beauty and life is the purpose of such partnerships together. When you request or require greater movement than you are bringing forth in yourself, your partnership with your horse may appear as a challenge. This will be true no matter what level you are engaging at – what you perceive of as abuse or “enlightened” riding. The greater your allowance for your own expansion and growth, at what ever level that is for you, the more harmony you will find with your horse – and yourself.

AMBER: Thought sometimes we do outgrow one another as you suggested earlier, either athletically or through different goals and interests or something else entirely, often people sell horses due to difficulties with them. What is your take on that in light of what you just mentioned about challenges and alignment?

FIONA: Sometimes you cannot come into alignment with your current situation and horse, and you cannot reconcile and change the pattern in which you are stuck with your current evolution of consciousness. This is not bad or wrong, it is just where you are. Changing horses may be helpful if you are very clear about what you do want instead of continuing to harp about what you didn’t want with your other horse. The horse, generally, has a better chance of making a proper “upgrade” energetically than you do at this point, because he is not so much in his head focusing on what went wrong. It can be a very beneficial and kind choice to place such a horse in a new home where people “get” him, and there is no failure on your part for doing so. If done with an open heart and well wishes, you may in fact shift your own energetic patterns because you have come into alignment after all in finding a solution for him.

If such a thing is done with agony on your part, it’s unlikely that your next partnership will go well either because you are still an energetic match to that crisis and the only horses you will attract are those who, when exposed to your energy, have those patterns highlighted. This may not mean they offer the same behavior, but the same dynamic will be present whether it’s frustration, fear, lack of progress, or heartbreak.

AMBER: I certainly have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt so to speak. It took a lot of work to change those patterns.

FIONA: Indeed it should, because that was the life lesson the horse was here to teach you – or rather, that you requested from the horse. The horse has little agenda with these things typically except a deep compassion and desire for both of your alignment.

When you do change the patterns, you’ll notice that the sale may still be the right choice, but it will be met with feelings of relief and positive energy rather than despair and fear. Then it is truly time to welcome in a new era with your next horse of different energy.

AMBER: That is a wonderful feeling!

FIONA: Indeed, we enjoy it, too. It’s fun to get to know new people. Generally, horses move up in life particularly if their partner meets them in the higher energies. That said, severely damaged horses (emotionally or physically) usually end up worse and worse because their disconnect creates more unwanted experiences instead of wanted experiences. They are the same as people in this way.

AMBER: What about rescuing horses like that or helping them?

FIONA: It is the nature of humans to want to assist when pain occurs, which is odd when you consider that most wild creatures flee from those negative vibrations. Occasionally, even in the wild we engage in acts of healing, but generally unless maternal instinct is at play, our tendency is to avoid those lower energies. Unless you are such a strong healer yourself that you are able to see the spirit of the animal in health and power such that you encourage and call him or her back to his highest self, it is often wise to avoid the situation. Many people who seek to help do so because they, too, are suffering, and they believe that by alleviating the suffering of another, they will feel better. There is nothing wrong with this inherently, except that usually they use the animal as a reason and excuse to suffer more themselves. If you can partner with the animal in light instead of suffering, you do him or her great service just as you do your human friends great service when you remind them of their own light. If you gaze upon the animal with devastation and anguish, not only do you worsen the animal’s suffering, but you strengthen the energy of the suffering and bring it into your body. That serves no one.

AMBER: That follows what I often see. There are plenty of rescued pets who become excellent companions and horses who rises to the highest levels, but only because their people are committed to bringing out the best in that animal and their own self. If this intention is not there, they only perpetuate each other’s misery.

FIONA: Make your choice carefully when you wish to bring a new animal into your life. Your intentions become part of the energetic magnetism that will attract your next companion, so it serves you to make that partnership from the highest place in your self. The choice should feel good, empowering, exciting, and joyous. You will know in your heart if it’s “right.” If you have hesitation about the animal, there may be a component of your energy that you’re not aware of or comfortable with which is running the dynamic of the partnership. This will reappear in the relationship somehow. It is better to start from a place of joy than to try to get there from a place of lower energy, though it’s certainly not impossible to do so based on your desires for your relationship.

AMBER: Sometimes the right animal appears but the circumstances are wrong. Can you speak about that?

FIONA: Yes, that is an energetic misalignment where you have called from your highest self but have not gotten into alignment – feeling good – about the impact on your life. You desire that match but have not made the energetic shift to welcome it fully. It is possible to do so once you have the animal, but you may be better served to make the shift before hand and enter the relationship, once again, in joy.

AMBER: Thank you Fiona. That was very helpful. I appreciate your wisdom. Perhaps this will give some solace to those who struggle with these topics.

Have you ever wanted to ask a horse how they feel about a particular subject? Now’s your chance! Hear about horse-keeping and equestrian subjects straight from the horse’s mouth. These segments are conducted interview-style between Amber and equine advice extraordinaire Fiona, or a guest horse. Have a question or a topic you’d like to know about? Leave a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter with under #askahorse.

2 Replies to “Ask a Horse: Being Sold”

  1. This is a great one for me to read. Thank you. As a trainer for the past 4 years, I have so many horses coming into my life it is overwhelming. I’ve finally had enough good experiences selling horses that I’m feeling more comfortable with it than I used to, but I still struggle with taking on too many. Since I’m able to give my horses a good life, basically, in their transition between their last owner and their next, I have trouble saying no. But I also know that if I dont get better at walking away from many of the horses offered to me — and maybe I’m attracting them somewhat unconsciously — I will end up (again) having too many horses who won’t get the individual attention they and I need (and I simply can’t afford to keep so many if I don’t want to be under pressure.) Anyways, Fiona wisdom is much appreciated here.

    1. Hi Tegan, I appreciate your thoughtful comment. One of Fiona’s most insistent messages is that we come to look at animals not as helpless, but as empowered. This area of the horse’s life – being sold – is such a challenging place for most of us humans to hold that perspective for obvious reasons.

      It’s so easy to get stuck in a mentality of “helping” horses or other animals because we want to give them a chance, but that tendency really boils down to self-sacrifice as you’ve experienced. It’s challenging to create boundaries when you feel like you can really help and not doing so would be a disservice to the horse, but the shadow side of that perspective is that it means the horse is viewed as a victim instead of a capable, powerful being in her own right. This dynamic happens frequently in rescue work, when people swoop in to save the animals and end up being overburdened and sometimes even the care suffers because of that need to “help them all.” That’s just an example of course, and not meant as suggestive of your situation, but the most powerful gift we can give another being is to see him in his strength. My advice to clients who struggle with this dynamic is to change the language of the question – instead of asking, “Should/can I help this horse?” ask “Does working with this horse empower us both?”

      That may resonate for you, or it may not, but I wish you well in the exploration of this journey. Thank you for sharing your deep insight.

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